Some days, I wish that there was a money fairy that would erase my student loans and a few other debts. It is stressful knowing that the money is lingering over my head. But, then i think about the other route, no student loans, which would have meant, no college, working a low paying position, and not being able to fulfill my dreams, figure out life, and HELP OTHERS the way that I hope to as a nurse-midwife. It's hard for me to think about what my life would have been like if i hadn't gone to college. College was def. the right route for me! I would most likely have been not happy with life, living at home, and down in the dumps. I LOVE to learn, take on a new challenge, and progress in life. I am super proud of how far I have come and wouldn't take it back for a moment.
The older and wiser I become the more savvy i am when it comes to scholarships, loan repayment programs etc. I have found a few ways that will help me in the present and future. The hospital i am working at will help pay for books for a year's commitment, AmeriCorps will help with tuition this semester, and then IDA will help with next semester. These are all "now" help and won't help with the lingering loans. But, later down the road after I am a nurse-midwife, there is a program through HRSA that will repay my loans if i work in an underserved area for so many years. It allows me to travel to exotic places as well, just as long as they are US territories etc. This program couldn't be more PERFECT! I already do what this program is looking for, helping the underserved as an OB tech! It's just hard to think that it will be possible because it is very competitive and what would i do if i didn't get accepted into the program. But of course i am going to try and try again until i am accepted into the program!
Yes, the program would erase my worries, but the stress of thinking about how much i will have accumulated after going to school for my masters is daunting at times. It impacts me in the present day. I try to not let it and conquer it when the times comes and WILL figure it out! There are so many possibilities, i believe that I can find a way to have those loans forgiven! In the end, I will have two bachelor degrees and a masters funded all by myself! I will have been helped by academic scholarships, ida, Americorps, and grants, but the difference still adds up to a pretty hefty amount. I find myself asking, why does life have to be like this? Why can't college be free? (haha) Can you imagine how many more people would attend college?!
Why do i have to pay all this money and do it on my own financially (venting)? I look at others that have been helped by their parents and wonder how much they really appreciate it. I see others not appreciate what they have been graciously given and it really ticks me off because if i had that provided to me i would be ever so grateful. I wouldn't take advantage of the situation like some do. Don't take me the wrong way, i am super proud of how far that i have come and what i have learned, but at times wonder what it would have been like if i was given the opportunity that others have, what my life would be like with this burden lifted off of my shoulders? Maybe i wouldn't be as appreciate because i wouldn't have had to go through what i have, but think that i would be so appreciative because i have seen others go through the same.
The money fairy sounds better and better everyday, one less stressor hanging in the back of my head sounds so good. But, i really appreciate how far i have come, what i have learned from this experience, and what i will teach others and my children one day. It takes a lot to be able to support yourself through college but wouldn't change it for the world! I can't wait to be a nurse-midwife, to catch babies, help in areas of need, teach the importance of breastfeeding, infant care, personal care, etc.
I must say that i have great support when it comes to going to school! I know that my mom can't/couldn't help me financially but she has helped me in more ways than i can ever thank her for. She has been my support and wall through everything! She was there when i wanted to give up because things were getting hard. I know that if she could she would help, but it just isn't possible for her, especially being a single parent. I know that she is super proud of how far I have come and how i have dealt with situations. The more and more i continue on in life, the prouder she is.
To all of those out there that are going through college supporting yourselves financially, stick in there! It is hard and you must make sacrifices, but it will be worth it in the end! Look for opportunities like i have, AmeriCorps, loan repayment programs, and scholarships. Every last scholarship and grant will help you! Be careful when taking out loans and take only what you need and have a job on the side to help with bills. Don't give up and keep on keeping on, it will be worth it in the end!
