This past wednesday night, Jesse and I went to a bluegrass concert at the outdoor concert area on EKU's campus! He had to do a paper on it for his Jazz class and i thought it might be interesting to see and listen to. Well while i was there, i saw this girl from my Babes and Tots class. I waved and said hi but she didn't recognize me at first. Later on, she came up to me and i asked her if she remembered me from the babes and tots class and i showed her some signs we learned. Then, she was like "yea, i remember you!" After that, she didn't leave my side. While Jesse was watching the concert and taking notes i was playing with the grass. We were collecting leaves and grass and misc objects to create a robot family! Haha, it was great. I loved it. I miss caring and playing with little ones! I also miss the opportunities to let the inner child out! If i could i would be goofy and use my imagination to create a robot family out of leaves and dead grass every day! Also, i LOVED that i knew someone from the community! I am getting to know more and more people, granted she was a little kid, but i love it! I introduced myself to her dad bc her mom wasn't there! I'm sure i'll see them on Monday at the babes and tots class! Seeing them at the concert gives me something to talk about with her mom when i see her!
The little girl found a walnut and i didn't know that a walnut grew in such a large casing. I opened it and smelt it, and Jesse was like be careful because it will stain your clothes and fingers. (Us Scarff's have always had this instinct to smell a new object when it is presented to us. It's quite odd, but that's how we learn and explore!) After opening the walnut, I looked at my fingers and put them to the light of the computer and was like "nah it's clear, i don't see anything." Well low and behold, i woke up the next day with stained fingers looking like i played in a pile of dung. I was quite embarrassed and hoped no one would see them as i served them food at my part time job that night, which no one did, thank goodness. I should have listened to Jesse but my exploring instinct overcame that because i wanted to see what it was all about. Really i am a kid at heart that loves to experience new things and figure out how they work! The part about figuring out how things work comes from my papa s. He is always working on something or coming up with nifty ways to fix things. He always has a new gadget! I get that from him! Along with my brown streak in my left eye. Every time i look at it, i think of him!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Home visit #1/Teen mom meeting
Well, my first home visit didn't happen. I arrived and there were two babysitters and their speech therapist, no momma. I gave her a call and she forgot that i was coming. We are now meeting next thursday and i'm going to give her a call the day before to remind her! But on a good note, one of the little boys recognized me from the last time i visited and was strutting his stuff. Haha. He was showing off! It was so cute! He was so excited to see me!
Also, next tuesday, i will be going into the high school here and teaching/doing an activity with the teen mom class of 12 students. I am very excited but nervous at the same time. For the activity, i think that the first 10 mins or so i will do an informative lesson about the baby etc. Then, we are going to make onesies (sp). I like that they can create something for the baby to come home in and it is personal. It's a gift from mom to the baby! I saw the idea on a special program online and loved the idea. I think that it will also bring the moms a little closer! We will see how it goes. Sometimes i think that something is a really great idea and then it back fires. But these moms are the ones i want to work with the most. I feel as if they are still very young and are going to be raising a child with no clue on how to do it. I hope that they have an open mind and want to learn as much as they can to help their babies. It's like a child raising a child, not in all cases but i feel as if the moms are still so young and have no idea what life has to offer. I like that i can teach them to respect themselves and be a strong mom!
This meeting will be considered my monthly group meeting and i couldn't be more excited to get things rolling!
Also, next tuesday, i will be going into the high school here and teaching/doing an activity with the teen mom class of 12 students. I am very excited but nervous at the same time. For the activity, i think that the first 10 mins or so i will do an informative lesson about the baby etc. Then, we are going to make onesies (sp). I like that they can create something for the baby to come home in and it is personal. It's a gift from mom to the baby! I saw the idea on a special program online and loved the idea. I think that it will also bring the moms a little closer! We will see how it goes. Sometimes i think that something is a really great idea and then it back fires. But these moms are the ones i want to work with the most. I feel as if they are still very young and are going to be raising a child with no clue on how to do it. I hope that they have an open mind and want to learn as much as they can to help their babies. It's like a child raising a child, not in all cases but i feel as if the moms are still so young and have no idea what life has to offer. I like that i can teach them to respect themselves and be a strong mom!
This meeting will be considered my monthly group meeting and i couldn't be more excited to get things rolling!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
1st home visit on my own!
Well today i will be going on my first home visit by myself today and I am nervous! I will be working with a family that has 8 children but primarily working with the children aged 2 and 9 mos. I do have some things i am worried about like what if we don't have anything to talk about? What if she isn't interested in what i have to say? What do i do in the awkward moments? I'm sure this is normal for the first time but i feel as if i direct my attention to the kids and what they are doing and things that might help them develop, all should go well! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well and she wants to continue! Def. will let you know how it went!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Think positive!
Looking at my experiences growing up and with my dad, i constantly try to remind myself to look past the bad and look at the good! Here are some of the good that i try to remember and embrace.
A stronger/closer relationship with my siblings and mom
A willingness to open up and express who i am and my feelings
My strength
My love and passion to help
Some things my dad taught me:
Like i said, what happened only makes me stronger, it has shaped me into the woman i am today. Everyone has quirks in their lives that they must get past! It's funny after moving here and starting AmeriCorps, i feel as if the "happy" Jenni is coming back! I have noticed that i am laughing more and enjoying life! Through AmeriCorps, I will be helping many people, but AmeriCorps is helping me as well!
A stronger/closer relationship with my siblings and mom
A willingness to open up and express who i am and my feelings
My strength
My love and passion to help
Some things my dad taught me:
- how to cook
- how to camp
- how to appreciate nature and what it has to offer
- children are something to be celebrated
- you must work hard for what you want to achieve
- to be spontaneous
- to explore
- i think most importantly, he showed me how to care and help people
Like i said, what happened only makes me stronger, it has shaped me into the woman i am today. Everyone has quirks in their lives that they must get past! It's funny after moving here and starting AmeriCorps, i feel as if the "happy" Jenni is coming back! I have noticed that i am laughing more and enjoying life! Through AmeriCorps, I will be helping many people, but AmeriCorps is helping me as well!
How could i forget?
This past saturday i attended a childbirth class! It was amazing! I am trying to get as much training and experience in labor and delivery, breastfeeding, pregnancy, etc. really anything having to deal with moms and their pregnancies before, during, and after. OK so i have seen births on tv but the actual area was blurred out and couldn't see the birth really well etc. In this class, i witnessed a full on up-close and personal birth. I almost cried. It was amazing. I wanted to jump in and help. This class really strengthened my passion to help moms have their babies! I think it's funny, when i was 10, i asked my parents if i could watch my littlest sisters birth, but sadly they said no. To this day, i wish they would have let me. haha. But ill be seeing my share of births as life goes on.
I am hoping that one of these moms i am working with will want me to be with them through this amazing journey! I can't wait to help them through the adventures of pregnancy and show them the joy of children!
I am hoping that one of these moms i am working with will want me to be with them through this amazing journey! I can't wait to help them through the adventures of pregnancy and show them the joy of children!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Past, the Present, and the Future
Well the babes and tots class went well but what a shock. There were so many babies not wanting to participate and be quiet, which was expected but imagine 12 babies aged 0-18 months trying to learn how to sign and sing at all the same time. The instructor seemed to get annoyed with the mothers who let their kids roam free. But it went well. I learned some new signs and think that the class will be great! It will be something i try and get moms to do with their children! Also, i felt a little weird because i was the only person there without a baby so i was sitting there singing to myself and signing with myself while all the other parents toddled with their babies. But quickly got over that. haha. I am looking forward to the next class on monday!
Today, my dad would have been 50. He has been gone now for about 1.5 years. It's strange not having him here but he was never really there the past three years and here and there before he died. Sometimes i am very mad at him for not trying to beat the evils within him, but others i understand how they could overcome someone. At times, i feel as if he was a tortured soul and couldn't figure out how to pull through and grow. I feel as if children are the best present on earth and wonder why we were not enough for him to overcome his pains and see the good he had brought into the world and want to change for us. My dad and i never had the best relationship, which i hate and don't mind at the same time. I didn't have a great relationship with him but with my mom, i was and am her support. I feel that i was looked upon as another parent in the family because of all the responsibility placed upon me and the roles i served in each of my siblings lives. It ruined the sister relationship i have with them. I don't know how to be a sister, i only know how to be a second mom always looking out and guiding versus being a sister to them. But maybe that is what sisters are for? Maybe that is why i am here? This is something that i am working on but really have no clue on how to do this. With Rachael, i was her "second mom." I watched over her like a hawk and she always came to me. This whole not knowing how to be a sister really affects my relationship with my brother. I wish it was different. He is only 16 but i feel as if there is something we can talk about and bond over. My sister Aubree and I have always had differences because of our relationships with our dad. I wish it wasn't like that but i feel as if we are growing and fixing what was lost. All in all, i want to be able to be that big sister and trying to work on it as a whole. Not all bad has come from the situation. It has brought us all closer than we ever have been and is simply amazing. I love it. I love how we can come together as a family and show how we cared for one another and how we want to help each other. We are all going through difficult times each in our own way. This experience has taught me the importance of family and the power of words. I have seen my family grow from not really expressing how we feel and being afraid of who we are to standing up for how we feel and not being afraid of who we are and what we have been through. We all have become stronger people. I find it important to tell my story and feelings. There is someone out there that is/was in a similar position and maybe my experience can help them in some way. Not only might it help someone but it feels good to let it out and talk about it. It conveys to people why i am a certain way. I have found myself just plain out telling a stranger what i had been through and what i continue to fight. It's a moment where i can breathe. I like that i might be able to reach out to someone and that they might reach out to me. Really i look for people that have been in the same situation and someone to connect with about it not necessarily in words but understand what it is like to have lost a father, to know what it is really like to not have a dad figure in your life that was positive, a dad that had two different personalities. I like knowing that someone elses heart is hurting like mine, not because i want them to hurt but because we can relate.
You may be wondering why i wrote about this because it doesn't pertain to AmeriCorps but it is a part of my life! It is something that i think about everyday and battle everyday to figure out. If affects me in many ways. I feel better talking about it and organizing my thoughts and feelings. Many of you don't know i feel and when i have talked about it have brushed it off as something little and oppp it happened and i have forgotten about it. But that's not true. I think about my dad everyday and what my siblings and mom are going through. I think about what i can do to help them but realize they are going to have to figure it out on their own, just as i am trying to do. I am always thinking about how i can help someone get out of this situation. At times when someone jokes "i'm going to kill myself," what they see in my eyes is true care and compassion, for not taking that away from yourself, as they wonder why i looked at them that way. Take that moment and think about the peoples lives you have touched and how you affect them. I know they are joking but they don't know the pain i feel because someone who matter to me took their life and left his family behind. He took away the chance of fixing a broken father-daughter relationship and making it into something better and great. He let something take over his mind and body. Now, there he lies without knowing i graduated/one class away with a degree in elementary education. He doesn't know the woman i have grown into and the compassion and love i hold to help people. He will never meet my loved one, my boyfriend, my partner through life, Jesse, which breaks my heart, and he will never meet my children. He will never know that i want to become a midwife and share the joy of bringing children into this world. Maybe he knows, but i will never know that he knew of my compassion and heart. He will always know that he had four great, intelligent, children that want to make a difference and help the people around us. Each of us have a heart too big for our chests and the power to help. That is exactly what we will do, help those in need.
R.I.P. Dr. Benjamin C. Scarff
You are missed
Today, my dad would have been 50. He has been gone now for about 1.5 years. It's strange not having him here but he was never really there the past three years and here and there before he died. Sometimes i am very mad at him for not trying to beat the evils within him, but others i understand how they could overcome someone. At times, i feel as if he was a tortured soul and couldn't figure out how to pull through and grow. I feel as if children are the best present on earth and wonder why we were not enough for him to overcome his pains and see the good he had brought into the world and want to change for us. My dad and i never had the best relationship, which i hate and don't mind at the same time. I didn't have a great relationship with him but with my mom, i was and am her support. I feel that i was looked upon as another parent in the family because of all the responsibility placed upon me and the roles i served in each of my siblings lives. It ruined the sister relationship i have with them. I don't know how to be a sister, i only know how to be a second mom always looking out and guiding versus being a sister to them. But maybe that is what sisters are for? Maybe that is why i am here? This is something that i am working on but really have no clue on how to do this. With Rachael, i was her "second mom." I watched over her like a hawk and she always came to me. This whole not knowing how to be a sister really affects my relationship with my brother. I wish it was different. He is only 16 but i feel as if there is something we can talk about and bond over. My sister Aubree and I have always had differences because of our relationships with our dad. I wish it wasn't like that but i feel as if we are growing and fixing what was lost. All in all, i want to be able to be that big sister and trying to work on it as a whole. Not all bad has come from the situation. It has brought us all closer than we ever have been and is simply amazing. I love it. I love how we can come together as a family and show how we cared for one another and how we want to help each other. We are all going through difficult times each in our own way. This experience has taught me the importance of family and the power of words. I have seen my family grow from not really expressing how we feel and being afraid of who we are to standing up for how we feel and not being afraid of who we are and what we have been through. We all have become stronger people. I find it important to tell my story and feelings. There is someone out there that is/was in a similar position and maybe my experience can help them in some way. Not only might it help someone but it feels good to let it out and talk about it. It conveys to people why i am a certain way. I have found myself just plain out telling a stranger what i had been through and what i continue to fight. It's a moment where i can breathe. I like that i might be able to reach out to someone and that they might reach out to me. Really i look for people that have been in the same situation and someone to connect with about it not necessarily in words but understand what it is like to have lost a father, to know what it is really like to not have a dad figure in your life that was positive, a dad that had two different personalities. I like knowing that someone elses heart is hurting like mine, not because i want them to hurt but because we can relate.
You may be wondering why i wrote about this because it doesn't pertain to AmeriCorps but it is a part of my life! It is something that i think about everyday and battle everyday to figure out. If affects me in many ways. I feel better talking about it and organizing my thoughts and feelings. Many of you don't know i feel and when i have talked about it have brushed it off as something little and oppp it happened and i have forgotten about it. But that's not true. I think about my dad everyday and what my siblings and mom are going through. I think about what i can do to help them but realize they are going to have to figure it out on their own, just as i am trying to do. I am always thinking about how i can help someone get out of this situation. At times when someone jokes "i'm going to kill myself," what they see in my eyes is true care and compassion, for not taking that away from yourself, as they wonder why i looked at them that way. Take that moment and think about the peoples lives you have touched and how you affect them. I know they are joking but they don't know the pain i feel because someone who matter to me took their life and left his family behind. He took away the chance of fixing a broken father-daughter relationship and making it into something better and great. He let something take over his mind and body. Now, there he lies without knowing i graduated/one class away with a degree in elementary education. He doesn't know the woman i have grown into and the compassion and love i hold to help people. He will never meet my loved one, my boyfriend, my partner through life, Jesse, which breaks my heart, and he will never meet my children. He will never know that i want to become a midwife and share the joy of bringing children into this world. Maybe he knows, but i will never know that he knew of my compassion and heart. He will always know that he had four great, intelligent, children that want to make a difference and help the people around us. Each of us have a heart too big for our chests and the power to help. That is exactly what we will do, help those in need.
R.I.P. Dr. Benjamin C. Scarff
You are missed
Monday, October 4, 2010
Babes and Tots
Today, i will be attending an 8 week long class, every monday, with moms and their tots. I will be creating a brochure each week to hand out and leave in the library. I have the first one done! This class should be fun. The lady/instructor will be teaching the parents how to use sign language to communicate with their babies. I am really excited about this because I hope to be able to do this in the future with my own kids. When I was babysitting for a family, the little girl knew how to sign a few words and I was amazed because she was able to tell me what she wanted without using her words, which she hadn't started talking yet. I loved every moment of it and want to be able to teach a bit to my children and help others teach their children as well. It should be a fun and exciting experience. I'm glad i am able to attend the classes!
So here is the first of many newsletters. There will be 7 more along with some general brochures that will be placed in the library for parents or future parents to pick up. I think that they will be a great help to some, well i hope they will help!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Pregnancy Conference/Brochures
This coming October i will be a part of a conference for teen moms here at the local public schools. There will be a few speakers and workshops, as well as a merry-go-round, where the moms can go around to different booths and speak with people in the community! I will have a booth, which i am very excited about. My topic is "reading to your baby." I am especially excited because i find reading to be one of the best things you can do to help your child develop and throughout life challenges! You need to be able to read to get anywhere in life and excited to express my love for reading with and to your child! I will be giving a little demonstration and passing out books! The moms will also have met me by then because i will soon start visiting them in school and begin supporting them through their pregnancy! I can not tell you how excited i am to be working with them and helping them through their pregnancy. I love being able to be there for them and learn from them along the way!
Along with the booth, i will be attending babes and tots classes here at the local library. I was asked by the coordinator to create brochures to put in the library for moms and families to pick up. Here are some topics as of right now.
breastfeeding
reading/literacy
tummy time
getting ready for school
importance of exploration
child development stages/milestones
what to do if your child is bullied
proper nutrition (mom and the baby) and portion sizes
child behavior
potty training
how to eat right when pregnant/help what do i eat?
postpartum depression
smoking
first trimester
second trimester
third trimester
pregnancy dos and donts
what if my baby has allergies?
getting ready for baby - their room, what to pack for hospital
sibling rivalry
The classes are for moms with children up to the age of 5, if you can think of anything else that one may be curious about during pregnancy, after, and for the toddler years, please let me know! Suggestions on what you were wondering as you where going through pregnancy or things that you needed help with after the baby was born. Any suggestions would help! I will post the brochures/newsletters as i create them! The class runs 8 weeks long and plan on creating a new one for each week along with a few to keep in the library as well!
Along with the booth, i will be attending babes and tots classes here at the local library. I was asked by the coordinator to create brochures to put in the library for moms and families to pick up. Here are some topics as of right now.
breastfeeding
reading/literacy
tummy time
getting ready for school
importance of exploration
child development stages/milestones
what to do if your child is bullied
proper nutrition (mom and the baby) and portion sizes
child behavior
potty training
how to eat right when pregnant/help what do i eat?
postpartum depression
smoking
first trimester
second trimester
third trimester
pregnancy dos and donts
what if my baby has allergies?
getting ready for baby - their room, what to pack for hospital
sibling rivalry
The classes are for moms with children up to the age of 5, if you can think of anything else that one may be curious about during pregnancy, after, and for the toddler years, please let me know! Suggestions on what you were wondering as you where going through pregnancy or things that you needed help with after the baby was born. Any suggestions would help! I will post the brochures/newsletters as i create them! The class runs 8 weeks long and plan on creating a new one for each week along with a few to keep in the library as well!
a big thanks to my cousin!
My cousin Amanda just recently had her first baby! She had some extra formula, 8 containers to be exact, that she is donating to AmeriCorps for me to give to the moms that have chosen not to breastfeed and cannot afford formula or may need it during hard times. Thanks a bunch for your kindness, it will be greatly appreciated!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
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